Cross cultural relationships suffer from a certain amount of prejudice and stereotyping, none more so than the relationship between an Asian woman and a Western man. Of these the one that is typically singled out for more than its fair share of stick, is where the woman is Chinese.
You’ll often hear that Chinese women are only after your passport and/or money, and friends and relatives can be particularly damning in these terms. But is it true? Does the stereotype hold up? And if not, what is it that Chinese women really want?
I’ve been married to a Chinese woman for over a year, and we dated for 5 years before that. One of the things you can guarantee my wife doesn’t want in life is to hot chinese women become English; in fact we’ve not yet even visited my country. The Chinese in general are passionate and fanatical about China; they don’t want to leave on a long-term basis.
There may be passport or visa hunting women out there, but in my time in China I’m yet to find one. Most Chinese women dream of living in their “home town” in a nice little house for the rest of their days. In practical terms this can be problematic, there’s no way I could live in my wife’s home town, which is a million miles from anyone who speaks English and a decent cup of coffee. So we compromise, and we live in Shenzhen near much of her family and close enough to Hong Kong to save my sanity.
In fact your biggest worry with a Chinese woman is that you may find it impossible to get her to break away from her “home town”.
Money plays a big part in Chinese society as a whole, there is a huge focus on having enough from the time they are born to the time they die, and this is probably the result of generations spent living in poverty.
She doesn’t necessarily want your money; she just wants to know you have enough to support yourself and her in a reasonable lifestyle. In China a good middle class salary would be around 5,000 RMB a month (that’s about $700 USD) and most asian women dating Westerners would be considered to be shockingly rich in local terms.
As long as you have enough, she’ll be happy and the Chinese are fanatical about saving rather than spending (exceptions tend to be in Shanghai and Beijing and to a lesser extent Guangzhou and Shenzhen which are being gradually Westernised in their consumer culture) so don’t think that your new girlfriend will leave you broke, she won’t.
Love is what it really boils down to, due to a slew of cultural factors the Chinese don’t really “do” love in their relationships. In many cases that will boil down to showing a little caring and not beating your partner (China has the world’s highest rates of abuse for women, and the highest female suicide rate of any country because of it).